Monday, September 1, 2014

Peanutty Cookie Dough Nut Butter

I want a kitten. Really reaaallly bad. So bad I think I might explode. Why don't I have a kitten yet? A fluffy adorable kitten? A gorgeous amazing fantastical kitten that I'll take care of and love forever and ever? One word.


More specifically:


 Peanutty Cookie Dough Nut Butter

My mom refuses to get me a cat. I beg, I plead, I sneak hints into conversations (*sneeze* Woah I sneezed. I think I need a cat.). The answer is always no. No no no. No no. No. Nerp. Nope. Nice try.

I even bought a shirt with a "meowntain" on it. Literally a mountain of adorable cats. Still nothing.

Our conversations now go something like this:
Me: *slides up smoothly* Whazzup mother dear?
Mom: *looks at me suspiciously*
Me: So . . . how 'bout we talk additions to the family. Don't you think it's time we got a pet? For example, a cat?
Mom: No.
Me: But I'm really responsible and old and wise and stuff!
Mom: No. Get one when you're 18.
Me: But I can't wait that long!!!!
Mom: Too bad.
Me: But whyyyyy?
Mom: No.
Me: But-
Mom: No.
Me: B-
Mom: No.
Me: *opens mouth*
Mom: No.

So yeah, not much luck. But I will find a way. Even if it means selling my soul to the Grim Reaper. Or promising my lovvvvve-ly singin' voice to an octopus lady.

Peanutty Cookie Dough Nut Butter

Worse comes to worse I'll have to wait. Or I could get one of those pretend cats that meow when you pet them . . . Then I could leave it on all night and everyone would be so desperate for quiet that my mom would cave and get me a cat. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

I don't really see that working well though.

Peanutty Cookie Dough Nut Butter
-1 c dry roasted peanuts
-3/4 c raw cashews
-1/2 c macadamia nuts
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-1 tsp mesquite powder (optional)
-2 tbsp coconut sugar
-1/4 c chocolate chips of choice (or cacao nibs)

In a food processor, process the peanuts, cashews, and macadamia nuts until a rough nut butter has formed. Add the vanilla extract, mesquite, and coconut sugar in, then process until everything is completely smooth and drippy. Transfer the nut butter into a container/bowl and store in the refrigerator until it has cooled down. While you wait, chop up your chocolate chips a couple times until they are a bit smaller. Alternatively you could use mini chocolate chips. Once the nut butter has completely cooled (this is important because if it is still warm the chocolate chip will become meltified!!!) stir in the chocolate chip chunks and spread over toast, use as a topping, or eat with a spoon (I may be slightly guilty of this . . .).


  1. Remember in Despicable Me, when Agnes holds her breath until Gru agrees to get her a new Unicorn Toy? Well, if you pass out from holding your breath so long every time you ask for a kitten, then your Mom might just get you one so you stop passing out so much. If you decide to do this, don't tell your Mom that I gave you the idea :) Btw it's not a great idea so use with caution!

    1. Sounds like a fool proof plan . . . . I'll let you know how it goes.